


what are we in the end

by OnlyJustAMemory



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/F, F/M, M/M, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Needs a Hug, The Master (Doctor Who) Needs a Hug, They all need hugs, this is weirdly formatted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyJustAMemory/pseuds/OnlyJustAMemory
Summary: { He searched for him. He searched for her. She searched for him. It never really mattered in the end who searched for who. They would find each other. They would find each other and something would die and something would be reborn. They’d burn and they’d dance. They’d hate and they’d love. They’d pretend. Death would not stop them. They would always find that path again.He was with him. He was with her. She was with him. }
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & The Master (Simm), The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor & The Master (Dhawan), Twelfth Doctor & Missy
Kudos: 13





	what are we in the end

**Author's Note:**

> this is really weirdly formatted (i'm sorry), but hope you enjoy anyways :)

The way they talked, it was like watching a dance. They never touched, but they danced. Their bodies moved in a rhythm only they could hear and watching it was like watching a star being born. It was a swirl of colors and light and impossibilities, and it was beautiful. You could feel the wonder at such a sight right down to the very center of your soul. You couldn’t look away as they stepped in parallel, a duel that had begun long ago and would continue until the end of time.  _ They _ would continue till the end of time until there were no more stars or planets or universes. They would dance and dance and dance, and nothing would stop that. They would destroy entire civilizations just with their words and their beings. One would advance and the other would retreat and it became a cycle. Nothing could stop the wheel from turning. Nothing could prevent the beating of their entwined hearts. In their game, neither would win. Side by side, they would dance for eternity. 

  
  


When they first chose sides, he kept the premonition in his head that they could still be friends. His hearts were filled with such a naive hope that even when the first fires started, he didn’t see the line in the sand. He didn’t see how his friend had stepped to the other side. To him, there was no line. It was just them, it would always be them. Side by side, they would go see the stars.    
It was only when the flames burned him that his vision cleared. The smoke parted and he saw his friend, gasoline in one hand, a match in the other. He was laughing, a maniacal laugh that held no light or happiness or mercy. It was cold and dark, and at that moment, he learned. With them, there was no grey area. The line only had two sides and where they stood was where they eventually would fall.

Side by side, they would fall.

  
  


_ She wondered sometimes. When it was quiet, when there was no one else around, she found herself sinking into the past. She let go of her hold on the present and found herself back in time. She analyzed every interaction they had, every conversation they’d shared, and she wondered.  _

_ Could things have been different? She knew time better than anyone else and yet this was one problem she could never solve. Was there any chance their story could change or was it a fixed point? Had the universe already decided the rest of their narrative or was it up to them? _

_ She hoped it was the latter. She hoped there was still a chance, however slim. She longed to start over, to press the reset button, and try again. It was naive of her, but she still believed. No matter what, there was always that “maybe”. _

_ Looking back, she saw how much hope she’d had. It transcended everything else, even logic. She’d been blinded by all her hopes and it had come back to haunt her every time. _

_ That had always been the problem with her though.  _

_ She had too much hope.  _

  
  


**He’d always believed in her. She found that funny. No matter how much destruction and death and disaster she caused, he always believed in her. It was a curious thing if she was being honest. She wanted to call it stupidity because it fit him so well. He was an idiot, and he let his hearts rule his mind. He cared too much and it held him back. All the potential he had and he threw it away because of** **_kindness_ ** **.**

**At the same time though, maybe it wasn’t stupidity. He was the smartest person she knew (besides herself of course), and that only heightened her curiosity. She didn’t understand him. They’d known each other since the dawn of time and yet some parts of him were still a mystery to her. She knew them, yes, but knowing and understanding were two different things.**

**He, with all his kindness and compassion and hope, was her opposite. They could not be more different. She burnt while he built. She took while he gave. She belonged to the dark while he was part of the light. Under no circumstance should they have been** **_anything_ ** **to each other.**

**And yet here they were. She would be nothing without him and he would be nothing without her. They were carved from the same block of stone. They had the same edges, the same cracks. Together, they were whole.**

**It really was funny.**

**She’d gotten too good at lying. The problem was, she didn’t know who she was lying to anymore.**

**He still believed in her. It was quite stupid. After all that she’d done, after how many people she’d killed, he should have thrown her to the wolves. He should have found a way to make it so that she would never, ever hurt anybody else again. It was idiotic if he was being honest. He had every reason to treat her the same way he did to all his enemies. She was ruthless and evil, and her hearts knew no kindness. He could try teaching her all he wanted, but she would never know kindness in the way he did. Maybe she would never know kindness at all.**

**At the same time though, maybe it wasn’t just a funny notion. There were times where he saw through her, times where he could see what was truly inside. He’d always been a dreamer, but this had potential.** **_She_ ** **had potential. She was the only one in the universe who was his match, his equal.**

**That had to mean something.**

**She, with all her hatred and cruelty and resentment, was his opposite. They could not be more different. He built while she burnt. He gave while she took. He was part of the light while she belonged to the dark. Under no circumstance should they have been** **_anything_ ** **to each other.**

**And yet here they were. He would be nothing without her and she would be nothing without him. They were carved from the same block of stone. They had the same edges, the same cracks. Together, they were whole.**

**It really was stupid.**

**He’d gotten too good at being truthful. The problem was, he didn’t know what the truth was anymore.**

  
  


A very, very, very long time ago, two young children met and became friends. At the exact same time, somewhere out in the universe, a massive star collapsed in upon itself and a black hole was created.

A very, very long time ago, two young children made a promise. They swore that one day they’d leave their home and go travel the stars together.

A very time ago, two older children realized the difference between fantasy and reality. They also realized the difference between good and evil.

A long time ago, two people that were no longer children made a new promise. They would do whatever they could to stop the other from succeeding.

Now, two tired ancient beings who’d seen so much tried forgetting but couldn’t. So, the wheel spun and the black hole that had been created so long ago continued to suck in all the light around it.

  
  
  


Sometimes he saw him in the monsters he fought. The way they’d speak or act or move would ignite a spark of recognition and he’d hesitate. He’d try to reason with them, even when he knew there was no hope. In some way, the monsters were surrogates. Part of his mind told him that if he was able to help these ones, help change them, then he could help  _ him.  _ He knew it was stupid and nonsensical but wasn’t that what their relationship was? When had the two of them ever made sense? They were infinitely more complex than any civilization out there. Their relationship didn’t obey and rules or laws. 

He felt responsible for him. It was quite ridiculous, looking back on it, but that didn’t matter. Maybe if he’d tried harder or done something different they’d be better… he’d be better. He knew he shouldn’t put that weight on himself. He shouldn’t have to feel like all his actions were her fault. 

But... 

He refused to give up on him. Giving up on him meant giving up on himself.

  
  
  


He searched for  **him** . He searched for  **her** . She searched for  **him** . It never really mattered in the end who searched for who. They would find each other. They would find each other and something would die and something would be reborn. They’d burn and they’d dance. They’d hate and they’d love. They’d pretend. Death would not stop them. They would always find that path again.

He was with  **him.** He was with  **her.** She was with  **him.**

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
